This is it?

How many times did I enjoy my working hours?
How many times I was relieved when having a talk?
How many times my heart overcame life troubles and sorrow when I thought of you?

I had many sad events and losses in my life, just like anybody, but out of them all, this felt really bad, I guess it is the worst ever till moment at least!

I am not sure if you going to read this, but to be honest with you and I have no trouble saying this at all: You were the closest to my heart ever!

I can't imagine that "This is it!"
I have always been naive and extra sensitive, which you always advised me to let go; but this time I don't think it will wear off till a very long time if not for a lifetime :(

You have my gratitude for everything, I think this it for this Blog too

Farewell

True Prison Break

Prison Break!
I guess if you first hear this words you will think of this:



Will, I liked the slogan "The True Prison to escape Is Your Mind"!
I can't recall where I've heard that, but I liked it; and oh BTW, I didn't watch the series but most of my friends liked it so I guess it's a good one ;)

I'm trying to change my life style and activities these days to manage to stay alive and focused, which is not really an easy thing.
I'm thinking of registering into a gym, Fitness One most probably; reading Novels, I passed to Virgin yesterday and bought "Paths of Glory"-written by Jeffrey Archer- the summary looked nice so I hope the story details be too.

I had a previous goal but will work even harder on it, which is:
Try to keep people around me happy as much as I can!

ahhhh, I know for a fact that I like or even love people who care Zero towards me if not they hate me, but I don't think that will change my feelings toward them; I will not step or throw my believes behind also, which makes things harder :(

A new goal will be drawing a smile all the time and avoid sharing my troubles with people who might have bigger problems.

Last but not least is a wish:
I wish not to lose a friend of mine; though I never knew if s/he considered me one.

What it takes for 2 to live with each others?

"Aren't ya gonna marry soon?"
"Do you want us to find you a bride?"
"When we're gonna celebrate your wedding?"

Don't get me wrong here, I will not say I am sick of this!
On the contrary, for me it shows that people who ask at least care or compliment.

But today, I had a very strange question asked;
Omz asked:"What do you think is the most important factor in the relation between a man and his wife?"
I posed for a second cause the question surprised me a bit then giving some options she continued saying:"Is it love? is it family origins? is it her beauty? is it her reactions and behavior?....etc

I thought and said:"I guess mutual understanding"; then {BOOOOOOOOOM} wrong answer!
She said:"Love!"
I asked her what she meant with "Love"; is it love from first sight? is it love due to long relation? cause of course Love is very important for any couple to get along this life, but... there are rules and limitation, also love by it self can't fix up all things; how many couple loved each other for years and when they got married they broke up!



What if one loved a girl that is walking a different path he's taking?
Can Love bridge this gap?
Can't a couple just get acquainted who have same ideals and path to take and love each other on the way?

Some differences just can't be solved or ignored with "Love"!

"How rude you are!" Omz said; I didn't say anything and left, maybe it looks rude but don't get me wrong, I really want to be with the girl I love the most, but what should I do if she don't share this feeling?
What if she is not walking the path I want to take?


Over and above:) What if one is still supporting his family? Though for this one I tend to take it easy as Allah always befrejha.

A'77777777777777; to make things even harder; today Nooran came to me and told me she found a 3aroos who's 23 years old and veiled, I didn't told her yes or no, just that we will see.

Honestly I don't know what to do, I am looking for a life full with love, yet I don't want to break after colliding with each others believes; and I don't want to step into the unknown that might be great or crucial and hard.

I believe with the saying of "Love comes with time"; as long the couple have the same goals in life; any other love form doesn't seem able to fix the differences if the paths are so different.

If one truly loves another, then he/she will wish for his/her happiness wherever and with whomever was; cause if this didn't apply, then actually love in its true form doesn't exist and was just a mere rash in nerve reactions.

Abu Za3tar!

Ya Abu Za3tar! Shoo betsawi???

Akram is one of my colleagues and friend in my beloved company "Wain"
Since I'm not that type of person who enjoy life to the max, he made sure that I leave 2009 with unforgettable events :)

A lot of scenarios occurred throughout the year, but mainly two events were the greatest ever.

Catastrophe #1
[Safety Team 1 Hour membership]



My company has a very professional safety team (Ta7ayatee Abul Masri); yet this team also enlist 2 employees from each department, for a very strange timing, both employees of my department were going in a long vacation, so looking around for someone who never says no to anybody, my colleague asked me to take her place for one month, "All what you have to do is put the Walki Talki on your desk and say Hello each morning" I mean how hard this can be, so I accepted directly.

The day after, which is the official day for me as a safety member, the official safety guy installed the Walki Talki device on my desk, "Just press on this button each morning and say Hi I am here"; fair enough, should be very easy.

1 hour later....

Akram passed by my desk, "Hey! what the hell is that doing on your desk?" after telling the story, he started to play with the tuning button, "Akram 7abibi la tel3ab fil tuning, ma ba3raf kaif ast3melha!" {I shouldn't said that by the way}


Akram: "Man using the device is easy... watch and learn...", Akram pressed the talk button and...." Security, Security!"
Security guy: "Roger, this is security what's up?"
Akram: "el 7ago! Fee 7areega gad eddenya!!!"
Security guy: "What!!! Where? Please repeat!"
Third Guy called Tariq: "This is Tariq...Please repeat" {he shouldn't said that too}
Akram: "Dear Tariq, please repeat your fire note, where is the fire?"
Tariq shocked and silenced by that comment "....."

Will, fortunately the safety team had the doubt that someone was bluffing and came to the newest safety member ME!

You can imagine how they scolded us, I really felt like an insect that time!
And that marked my 1 hour safety team membership which I actually was kicked out for ever I guess.
Thanks Akram, keep them coming!!!

Catastrophe #2

Aqaba Visit

I believe this needs a new post:)

Trapped

Life is but a journey!
Whether I accept this or not, it is reality.
Any journey can end up in a massive failure or a great success, it all depends on how one chooses the path at each intersection he/she crosses.

For the time being I feel I have been Trapped in a very difficult intersection, though this entrapment feels different and scarier than ever! Feels like I couldn't go on with my journey anymore, many wrong decisions I've taken along the time and seems it all appeared before me at this moment.

I always seem to get attracted to people or things I shouldn't, there are things I can't do, there are people who don't like me as much I like them; being very sensitive also is gonna kill me, and whatever I do to stop being so, just never worked :(

I really feel like going into a long journey with a person I truly love who also shares this feeling, but this is no more than a dream or thought that cross my mind each time I go to sleep.

I can't blame anyone who just sees my feelings as a drama and get depressed by it, so I apologize, I don't speak to anyone of my deep emotional thoughts so I try to just express it in a place where I guess no one will find it that's all. (Except one friend of course who's gonna tell me to quit being Drama Queen!)

I'm not the type who only see a dark side of life; btw, I had some great times with my friends last year, especially my Aqaba visit :) That was one trip I wished it never ended... Mr. Abu Za3tar nearly got us jailed at that time :-)

I really love my family, but to be honest, being responsible while still young doesn't give you an advantage in life other than getting older and losing any interest in keep going on, so I will try to be useful in life as much as I can, work hard, support my family and keep people around me happy and most important
"Keep my troubles to my self"