Requiem for the lost ones

Waiting this Thursday night to end, strange heavy feeling seems to be overwhelming me.
Today was unpleasant for me at all :( Though, something great happened as two of my friends who resigned due to a conflict with their manager came back to work as they got another chance from the CEO, long story but what matters that it ended somewhat with the least trouble possible.

Why did my day is unpleasant then?
I guess the following points were behind it:

1. It seems I lost control of my actions, conversation somewhat, and said things maybe I should've just kept to myself.
2. Had a business meeting where we signed , will let's call it a paper to finalize a deal that might crash the company @160KM/Hr into a concrete wall! The kind of meeting where big boss from each company sign some papers and shake hands and of course get some cam shooting and unnecessary hypocritical comments and yellow smiles.


3. Following our meeting was a business lunch! continuing our yellow smiles we went to Burj El Hamam restaurant; it is a very nice one with excellent food and service; thus I felt like being punched in the face when I saw some ladies in their 40's asking the waiter for wine!!! "Hey, I said white wine not red wine!" one of them shouted. What the hell I'm doing here? I shouldn't be in a restaurant that serves alcohol in the first place no matter what! a'7777 this one sat7atni men 7ali

4. Felt enni kteer zanna'7t elyoum; you know when you say or do things that you usually don't do or say; and just seconds after, you ask yourself: "Why I said or did that?" Too frustrating, I felt I made people I care for annoyed, worst thing I could imagine to do to anybody, so how should I feel if I did it to them?


5. Felt that someone really didn't want to see me at all or even talk to me; a person I would enjoy my times just by remembering him/her; Ok it's her.

I hate when a person feels he lost control due pressure or any reason else; how come I'm writing this and listening to "The Final Countdown"? I shouldn't be doing this if I was to take the path I chose for my self! But the problem that loneliness is very creepy, and having all my friends abroad makes things even more complicated; finding new friends will help, right? Will, it's not that there are no friends in the company, but it seems once we are off working hours they have their other life, friends and activities; pushing myself to that life is not my style and will never do it.

a'777777777777777, mesh 3aref shoo a3aml? :(
Allah yesle7 el a7wal......
Ya rab